My mother-in-law wants to come on our honeymoon i do don’t know how to refuse her

My mother-in-law wants to come on our honeymoon i do don’t know how to refuse her

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Question: I am a married woman. I am very upset with my mother-in-law. This is because my mother-in-law does not allow me and my husband to spend time together. Actually, both of us are working. This is also one of the reasons why we hardly get a chance to spend time together at home. In such a situation, considering our busy routine, we both made a trip plan with each other, in which my mother-in-law agreed to come with us.

I do not want to hide from you, this trip was going to be very special for us. But this cannot happen now. This is also because my husband cannot say no to his mother even if he wants to. I am deeply troubled by this act of my mother-in-law. I don’t understand what can I do to make them understand? How do I tell them that this is our honeymoon and not a family trip. (All images are indicative, we protect the identity of users in the stories shared by them)

Expert Answer

You must have heard an old saying that if you marry someone, you have to marry their family too, says relationship expert Shivani Mishri Sadhu, founder of Sarathi Counseling Services. This is still the concept of marriage in Indian society. If you live with your in-laws, you will sometimes have to do things that you don’t like in order to please them.

Your current situation is exactly like this. Although, I do agree that sometimes in-laws cross their limits, but if you wish, things can be expressed in the right way.

Take care of mother-in-law’s feelings

Take care of mother-in-law's feelings

As you said that your mother-in-law is also ready to come with you on the trip, so I would say that you should talk to your mother-in-law. Tell them that you want to spend some quality time with your husband. Tell them about your expectations as well.

During this, also explain to them that both of you do not get any time to spend quality time together. In such a situation, if she also comes with you, then the attention of both of you will be divided in serving her. Yes, during this time keep one thing in mind that while talking to mother-in-law, your language should be very soft and loving.

talk to husband

talk to husband

If you want your mother-in-law not to hurt your feelings, then you have to talk to your husband as well. You have to tell them everything about your mother-in-law’s behavior. However, during this time you need to start the conversation with positivity.

This is because no son can listen to the bad words of his mother. Not only this, during this time you also have to talk to your partner about the boundaries that you need. If you do not do this, then you will not be able to be happy in your married life even if you want to.

If you also have a story related to relationships, which you want to share with everyone, then you can send it to [email protected]. Your name will be kept secret. Content courtesy TOI, click here to read in English.

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